Wanted: Green's Ideal Woman
I'm going to shoot from the hip here and try and paint the picture of my ideal woman. I'm too old to be doing the dating thing for long, so I'm looking to find my life partner, best friend and soul mate here.
She must be a Christian. Whether it be a "new" Christian or a "seasoned veteran" does not matter. I enjoy discussing issues of faith and want someone who can grow and learn in the Word with me. Our shared faith would only be a positive in forming a lasting, lifelong relationship.
She must not be a smoker, or at least making a serious attempt to quit. I get nauseous around cigarette smoke and refuse to expose my kids to that.
I love kids, so I certainly don't mind if she has children from a previous relationship. Afterall, if she's got to accept the fact that I have two kids from a previous relationship, then I certainly can't disrespect any kids that she might have. She should also be open to and willing to discuss the possibility of either having or adopting another child with me.
She's got to be mature, honest and have integrity. Having an open line of communication is key.
Let's see, what else....
e-harmony.com suggested an ideal age range for me of 26-37. That's an agreeable range to me, so I'll stick with that. Height, weight, eye and hair color is not really all that important, since there is more to my soul mate than physical appearance. However she should have a healthy, well rounded dose of self-confidence. There does need to be a bit of chemistry and I must find her attractive.
She must understand that I am an introvert and a rather low-key personality. So I think she should not be too far from that. She also needs to accept that I'm not perfect. Occasionally I will screw things up and make mistakes. I'm not expecting her to be perfect, either. But we should be "perfect" for each other.
She needs to be intelligent and be able to hold up her end of any conversation. She should be able to tell me when I'm wrong and should be able to admit it when she is wrong as well.
As far as hobbies and interests go, there should be some things in common but we should also have other interests.
She should want to travel some with me and explore new places and share new adventures.
The first four points are pretty much non-negotiable. Other than that, I'm open for discussion.
posted by Tim @ 22:46
19 Comments:
Good luck to you! She's out there, somewhere. :)
Wow, you don't waste any time....
Scribe's perfect woman:
Horny, breathing and mute :)
I've heard good things about eharmony. I didn't use it myself, but I know that the screening is in-depth to the point that it will weed out most of the riffraf. Are you doing the whole program or did you do the first part and are now trying to decide?
A few questions to help you narrow down your search (or at least to give those ladies out there a better idea of whether they are right for the Gorgeous Green...)
Just for clarification, do you define Christian as a general set of beliefs or do you have an actual church affiliation preference?
One last question, does geography impact your quest? Do you hope she lives within X radius of your home or will you move across the world for her? I think I already know the answer to this... but I wanted you to clarify for those tuning in just now... :)
BEST OF LUCK TO YOU, studly...
Geez... you were describing me to a "T" until you got to the age part.... Ha Ha.
Naw, man, seriously, don't lose hope and don't get desperate. Trust in God's timing. I know--tough medicine. I have to drink it everyday myself!
My perfect man:
Must have all his teeth.
Green,
I like your style!
I might need to try this approach(nothing else seems to be working!haha)
PEACE,
NATE
Scribe~try duct tape! LOL
Tink ~ he did mention adoption.
Green~Good luck man, God Bless!
Sorry, but I'm 25, an extroverted loud-mouth, and I'm rather passive-aggressive.
You and I would just not mesh. hahaha
But I am a Christian. At least I have that going for me ;)
Wow, what responses....
genna: I know she's out there somewhere, just as the perfect man for you is as well...;>)
scribe: so I'm sure your current gf qualifies under #2 and not under #3. How about #1?
sarafina: I like e-harmony better than some of the free "dating" sites. I did the whole shebang. I have a lot of "potentials", have gotten as far as emailing a few ladies but no personal meetings thus far.
gorgeous, studly green thanks you for the compliment, but thinks you're being a wee bit too generous. *blushing*
As far as her being a Christian goes, denomination is irrelevant. I'm looking for someone whose foundational beliefs are Biblically based. That's the foundation. Everything else is semantics.
Geography does not impact the quest. Sure it can make things more challenging, what with my kids currently living here in NH. Since this is the "soul mate" I'm loking for, I believe God will have meant for us to meet, regardless of geography.
kristi: everything after the first four points is up for discussion... age range is a suggested guideline based on a study of age ranges of people happily married vs. divorced couples. How much of an impact does the generational thing have on a successful relationship? I dunno...
bluez: you're easy to please...
tink: the kids question is most definitely up for discussion and would depend on many factors.
nate: other approaches aren't yielding very good (any) results, so why not give this a try...(since it's free...)
Stephanie: perhaps we'd not mesh as a couple BUT maybe we would if opposites attract...;>) If nothing else at least we have the basis for a good friendship....
constant: I don't think I'm asking for much, either. Though this time I have a better idea of what I'm looking for.
green,
she most definitely falls under #1. To an annoying degree.
tink: no I didn't know that. It is cool! Like what???
constant,
not when you don't reciprocate.
just to play devil's advocate here:
you know, there are many many cases of people being from different religious backgrounds who make excellent couples. Might i suggest that you could be very happy with someone of a different (or (shock) no) faith, as long as you were both repectful of each other's beliefs.
ag: I appreciate your playing the devil's advocate here, but the answer is a resounding, "NO." I think that's a significant reason why ex and I are divorced. Because we would always argue points of faith, even when a constructive conversation was the goal. Even though she was raised in a Catholic family, you'd think we would have had *some* common ground there from which to work.
Take this advice if you want it, leave it if you don't... I highly recommend the coffee shop (or something similar) meeting as a first "date" for these sight unseen encounters. It doesn't feel high pressure and it can turn into a lot more if things go well. That's how it worked out me and hubby... Sending good vibes your way.
Good Luck Studly Gorgeous Green & keep us posted on your quest!
So I'm confsed here. Your ex did in fact meet your criteria of being christian (catholics, as i recall are in fact chritians - which would explain why we had that guy on a cross in the front of the church where i grew up), and yet you still found the differences in faith to be troublesome.
And yet you say "As far as her being a Christian goes, denomination is irrelevant. I'm looking for someone whose foundational beliefs are Biblically based. That's the foundation. Everything else is semantics."
What about someone who, as many christians do, views parts of the bible as allegory? What if she's a christian who (again as many christians do) believes in evolution as well as the whole 'let there be light' process?
And, if your god does indeed have a plan for you, who's to say that it doesn't involve you finding that you have more in common than you know with someone from outside the church. A friend of mine is a Russian orthodox priest, and he is married to woman who is jewish. Now his faith is pretty strong, yet he finds that the relationship is right for him.
'ideal' for what ?
I am sorry to hear that you are divorced.
I would have thought that active Christians would never resort to divorce because they would have kept to the vows they made before God?
I honestly don't think you can 'find' a person by having an 'ideal profile'.
You will have harmony with any person whose interests are the same as yours, and those interests have to be more than tennis and churchgoing.
You will find that person while you are doing all the things which interest you. Best Luck!
brownie: ideal for me. I don't ask for much, just someone who is ideal for me.
Christians do get divorced, unfortunately. It was not the situation I would have ever dreamed about being in, but at that time it was the best decision for both of us AND our kids. Better to be happy and divorced than miserable and married....
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