Nuggets of wisdom
I recently saw these on Ben Witherington's blog and asked him if I could use them myself. Obviously, he said yes.
Most of these are soooooo true and all of them are funny in that you can relate to them in some sort of way yourself.
1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me alone.
2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire.
3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
5. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.
6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
9. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
12. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
13. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.
14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
16. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
17. Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
18. There are two approaches to arguing with women. Neither one works.
19. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.
20. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
21. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
22. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
posted by Tim @ 19:50
5 Comments:
Here's a nugget of wisdom:
"Never underestimate the power of the Yankees in the month of September".
Bring it on....3 down and creeping
bluez: phbbbbt. Face it, The Yankees are not going to win the division, nor will they go toofar in the playoffs. Too many questions on their pitching staff. Pitching wins games in October.
Haha....gotta love #18...
Uhh...Bluez, wipe your face off LOL!
My, My, Green. Quite the cynic last night, weren't we? Oh, wait. You would say you're always a little cynical. Tee-Hee. I can certainly relate to #3, because I'm the neighbor whose paper keeps getting taken. Oh, it's always returned to my doorway, but it has already been looked through. I still don't know who does it, though. As to #18, I'd like to argue that with you, and I already know I'll win, because that's what it says! Thanks in advance!
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