When I'm an Old Man

When I'm an old man, I'll live with each kid,
And bring so much happiness just as they did.
I want to pay back all the joy they've provided.
Returning each deed. Oh, they'll be so excited.
(When I'm an old man and live with my kids.)

I'll write on the wall with reds, whites and blues,
And I'll bounce on the furniture...wearing my shoes.
I'll drink from the carton and then leave it out.
I'll stuff all the toilets and oh, how they'll shout.
(When I'm an old man and live with my kids.)

When they're on the phone and just out of reach,
I'll get into things like sugar and bleach.
They'll snap their fingers and then shake their head,
And when that is done, I'll hide under the bed.
(When I'm an old man and live with my kids.)

When they cook dinner and call me to eat,
I'll not eat my spinach, peas, salad or meat.
I'll gag on my green beans, spill milk on the table,
And when they get angry, I'll run if I'm able.
(When I'm an old man and live with my kids.)

I'll sit close to the TV, through the channels I'll click,
I'll cross both my eyes just to see if they stick.
I'll take off my socks and throw one away,
And play in the mud 'til the end of the day.
(When I'm an old man and live with my kids.)

And later in bed, I'll lay back and sigh,
I'll thank God in my prayer, then I'll close my eyes.
My kids will look down with a smile slowly creeping,
and say with a groan, "He's so sweet when he's sleeping."
(When I'm an old man and live with my kids.)

-- Over the Hump Real Estate Section, May 2005, p. 90.