Funny how life works sometimes
Back in mid-August I wrote about my two year e-Harmony (eH) experience and how I had decided to give it up because I was not finding the success there that I had been seeking.
One of the matches I had received in that last week of my membership (on August 13th to be exact) was a woman whose introductory information profile and pictures had piqued my interest. We had reached the third stage of communication, one stage shy of open communication, when my membership ended. Oh, well, I thought. Another wasted match. Such a disappointment.
Before I officially called it quits over there, I edited the last section of my introductory information profile in a round about way so that anyone who was interested, if they took the time to figure it out, could e-mail me outside of eH's guided communication system. My hope was that this one woman would somehow manage to contact me.
Now you have to realize that even though the goal of eH is to match people up, in the deeper areas of compatibility, for long-term relationships; there is still the possibility that the person on the other end of the match will not be who their profile says that they are. I know this for a fact because it had happened to me on a few occasions during my two year membership, where I was matched with- lets say- to be generous, women with the lights on and nobody home or women a few eggs short of a dozen. You get the picture... So with that thought in mind, I edited my eH profile to lead whomever would respond to my screen-the-fluff-away email address, because well, you just never know.
When I checked that particular email address on August 20th, sure enough there was an email in my inbox from an unknown person. As it had turned out, the email was from that woman on eH whom I had hoped would contact me [psych!]. She had actually taken the time to not only decipher my email address but literally proceeded to write me the longest email I have ever received (save possibly for the exception of some of AG's and my renowned "conversation").
Let me tell you something about this email:
It had to be one of the most carefully thought out, question-laced emails I have ever received. And one in which I needed to respond to twice, simply because when I had initially read it it was late at night and I hadn't had the mental capacity available to answer it properly. So my first response was that, yes, she had written to the right email address and that I would thoroughly answer her email in the next day or so.
Since that time, not only have we exchanged "real" email addresses but have used them extensively as we've exchanged over 175 emails to date. We've physically mailed each other a few packages, have chatted extensively on Yahoo Messenger and have talked over the telephone every day for over a month now, including our first conversation- a 7 hour 15 minute marathon all-niter that only ended because my phone died. Since that first whopper, our phone conversations have run about three hours per night. Per night. (Yes, it blows. my. mind. too.)
One of the many things we talked about that night is our skepticism of how well the eH matching system actually works. Based on the sampling so far, it has worked extremely well.
You should also realize that neither one of us is too keen on extended telephone conversations. Yet when we talk, the time flies by, literally and figuratively. The range of subject matter that we discuss never ceases to amaze me. And believe me, our conversations have run the gamut - from the serious to the small talk and just about every thing in between. But the weird thing is that our conversations are always different and never boring. If communication is key to any relationship of this nature then we certainly do have it.
She's also voluntarily and willingly {which still amazes me} read through every post on my blog - no small task considering I've left over 700 posts since June 2005. If that daunting task didn't scare her away, not much else will, I'm afraid... Brave soul, she is.
Some of you (hello, AG) may remember my highly unsatisfying Russian Woman experience of a few years ago and if you're worried about me here you need not be. That episode doesn't even hold a candle to this one. Not by a long shot. That being the case and having had my heart stomped on before made me a little leery of how things would proceed between she and I.
Little did I know how much I would end up falling for this woman but indeed I have fallen and fallen hard. And not just with physical desire, either. This woman is attractive to me in mind and spirit as well as body. The wonderful thing here is that I know she has fallen for me equally as hard and she has said as much. How refreshing it is to feel this way for someone and have those same feelings returned unequivocally.
Believe it or not, we have yet to meet physically. But we will - it's no longer a question of if we'll meet but when. The more we talk the stronger the desire becomes for us to do so. And I know it will happen because it is something that we both want to happen and have talked repeatedly about. With much anticipation, I might add. As many times as we've discussed this, I can't see how it's possible that we won't have good chemistry when we do meet - considering the chemistry we've generated in other areas and considering how much we've talked so far.
For better or worse, the impact that I've had on this woman is already evident. She has (by her own admission) begun to use some of the expressions that I use practically every day without even realizing it. I told her tonight that I would corrupt her in ways that she didn't even realize that she could be corrupted. [And it's working!]
Neither she nor I know where our relationship is ultimately headed or how far it will go but early returns are looking real promising...
Oh, yes!! After a few weeks of canoodling1 on my part, she started her own blog at the beginning of September. Some of you have seen her comments here on my blog and some of you have found her blog yourselves, read it and left comments of your own. Ladies and gentlemen, please let me introduce to you to Esther!
1(v. tr. - To win over or convince by cajoling or flattering; wheedle: "his matchless ability to charm, bamboozle, or canoodle most of his political associates." (Timothy Garton Ash).
canoodle. Dictionary.com. The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company, 2004. http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/canoodle (accessed: September 30, 2007).
Labels: eHarmony, love, relationships